Saturday, March 7, 2009

In Other News: Sisterly Love

I don't want to paint myself as a saint or anything, but one thing I do pride myself on is actively affirming people. Cute hairstyle? I'll tell you. Banging earrings? I ask where you got them from. Hot shoes? I'll give you two snaps and a twist.

I do it mostly because I know how uplifting it feels to get a compliment from another woman (or, in the very best-case scenario, a gay man). But I also do it because I've noticed, as illustrated by makeup artist Todra Payne, we hate on each other waaaay too much.

Todra describes the time she spent a day with a gorgeous model with striking features -- and the women that very openly insulted her as they made their way through a department store.

"Well damn," I thought. "These chicks didn't have anything nice to say?" It was sad, really.

In college, I used to get teased for my optimism. "You just have to say something good about everyone, don't you, Veronica?" Being snarky and critical was in, and I, feeling persecuted, would shut up and sheepishly remove myself from the discussion. But now when I think about how much sneering, smearing and snickering we do as women, and how uncomfortable it still makes me feel, I figure it's only right to say something good. Shoot, someone needs to.

Tearing other folks down just has never been my style. And even if I may think evil thoughts (I'm no saint, remember?), I try not to speak them, because chances that they'll come right back at me, threefold. But more importantly than all of that -- there's a genuine joy in giving another woman a genuine compliment. And I don't think we do it enough.

And to that end, friends, I challenge you... if you don't do it already, this week, try giving someone at least one compliment a day. It could be your mom, your roommate, or even woman you've never even met as you pass her on the street. Whoever it is, simply make sure you affirm something that you find absolutely fly about them -- and make sure it's genuine too.

Oh, and if you feel like being nice just isn't your cup of tea, that's cool. Just remember...

Hating her won't make you more pretty.


Keisa said...

You are so right on with this post. I work with a ton of females and they can't wait until someone leaves the room so they can tear into what she's wearing, how her hair is, etc.

Makeup Theory said...

Amen! So many times in my profession, I've had models tell me how mean women are to them. It's ridiculous and so unnecessary. My agent actually took me on as an artist after he witnessed a conversation I had with a model in the hallway of the agency. I didn't realize that until years later when I asked him why he changed his mind about repping me (he'd already told me no). He said a lot of female makeup artists are difficult when it comes to how they treat models. He didn't see that with me. Everything you put out there comes back to you - good or bad.

Thanks for the link back to my post. Much appreciated.

Miss Marche said...

Kesia ~ I know! And those situations are always so uncomfortable. Like, what's the point of being so evil?

Todra ~ Had to link back. I love your blog! It surprises me that makeup artists would treat models that way. You'd think they'd have an appreciation for beauty! Oh well... glad you're one of the cool ones. :o)

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