Highly Textured

5 comments:

Courtie said...

New reader, love the blog!
I can relate to what girlfriend is saying!
Normally I have a huge coily fro, but I do wear a wig sometimes for shoots (I act).
The difference in attention I get from the fro to the wig is ridiculous.
Sometimes I feel like non-black folks are digging the fro more, where I get compliments on that silly wig from a lot of brothers and sisters.
I don't get it.

April 22, 2009 at 11:34 AM

Elegance said...

That gave me two different thoughts. The first is that maybe she is right in that more men will approach her with unnatural looking European hair than when she is natural. They may prefer that type of hair now because they see it all the time, much more than natural hair. So if a woman wants to get attention, then a weave or relaxed hair will get her attention.

But I had a different thought. Are those the types of men she wants? The type of men with no jobs who sit on the street and roll dice? They kind of men who will yell stupid things from cars? Maybe men have more respect for women with natural hair. Maybe they think (or learned) that women they meet with natural hair have more confidence and self-respect so they will not tolerate cat calls and being picked up on the street. Maybe they have learned (maybe from the media) that women with unnatural hair might be more accepting of being picked up in that way, they might have lower standards and low self-esteem. Its like if you wear a short skirt and revealing top men will treat you one way, but they will treat you differently if you are covered or in a business suit. The women who are covered up or in business clothes may not get picked up as much, but they may get a better quality of man. I think quality is better than quantity.

But I totally agree, if someone is lacking in self-esteem (as I once was), and they want attention and affirmation from men, then the weave is the way to go. But they might just treat you like a sex object and not have much respect for you. I learned that from experience too. It might be harder to meet as many men with natural hair, but the one's you get will have respect and enough confidence to approach you. They won't be brainwashed into only liking women who look European and those men might be a better match for you anyway.

April 23, 2009 at 1:11 PM

Unknown said...

Agree with you Bronze, def don't want guys like that, it's still frustrating that they exist though.

April 23, 2009 at 9:37 PM

Anonymous said...

I agree with what she said. There's a guy in my building that I say hi to everyday and the minute I put in a straight weave he told me "Your hair looks nice". I notice that a lot more black men pay attention to me when I wear weaves. But, I realized that those may not be the ones I want. Sometimes I feel really self-conscious because black men don't usually compliment me when I wear out my natural hair. I find that more of my non-black friends compliment me. I have my hair in mini twists (very short) today and someone who I never talk to told how nice they looked. So I know that there are men who appreciate my natural hair.

But... It may be a length issue with black men... or any other men that causes them to look past someone with a TWA.

April 26, 2009 at 11:00 PM

Rhapsody in PURPLE! said...

Actually for me, i only attract the men that i want to spend time on you know? I have been approached more with my nappy head then my straight hair, because i have a different air about me, confidence and such.

The guys like the ones she's talking about are the guys that don't approach me anymore and im damn happy about it, because i dont like to be rude lol.

But i agree with what she says of course! even if i cant relate.

April 28, 2009 at 11:32 AM