Tuesday, June 9, 2009

"I LOVE Your Hair."

A thought...

I remember being at a drugstore with a friend not too long ago. As we were walking out, another woman walked in -- a natural with the most perfect, drop-dead gorgeous 'fro of curls that I've ever seen in person. I had to tell her.

"Omigosh," I gushed. "Your hair is gorgeous!"

She beamed. "Thank you!" And then: "We're practically twins!"

We giggled and went our respective ways. And then I noticed something... my friend, who is relaxed, seemed to stand back, with a quizzical look on her face, during the exchange. It was almost as if we'd started speaking a foreign language in front of her. She seemed perplexed that I'd randomly approach someone like that.

It made me wonder later... As naturals, are we more open about supporting other women and their hair? I can't remember a time when any of my friends (or myself for that matter, when I had a perm long ago) stopped another woman to tell her how gorgeous and healthy her hair looked. We only remarked about a girl's hair if she had a trendy cut or superlong strands -- and we only really told her if we were feeling nice that day.

I'm not trying to start a natural vs. relaxed debate. I'm just wondering if, in the lifestyle of being a natural, something makes us more open, affirming and encouraging toward each other. It almost seems like have our own little culture, where it's not a big thing to simply say, "I love your hair."

...or do I just like giving compliments more than my friend does? ;-)

Your thoughts?

9 comments:

Claudia said...

I think it helps. Being natural is something that comes with a conscious effort to selfacceptance. I do feel that I want to encourage others in that, so I give compliments easier now, even though I always have easily complemented other girls with their tresses.

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

I would agree. I think we are more comfortable giving another natural compliments. But, I compliment permies as well.

Just Thursday I had an entire conversation with a lady who sported locs I would slap my mamma for :) My permed friend was amazed that we chatted so easily. Maybe it is a personality thing that makes us go natural as well as give compliments :)

Lion-ess said...

Seeing a women with natural hair is quite rare.. so when ever two naturals meet, it's like meeting another like mind... soul mate maybe?

His Daughter said...

i think its because as a natural you understands the need for that community, and the struggle to get your regimen right & have your hair looking fly! So when we see a woman whose hair is looking hot we want to affirm that & ensure that she knows it. i think its great, as women we don't compliment and encourae each other enough. too busy being jealous, catty and insecure.

Moni said...

I definitely agree that I'm way more likely to compliment another natural now that I'm natural than I complimented other women when I was relaxed. Even if I don't say something, sometimes I just give them that smile that acknowledges a fellow sista rocking her beautiful natural hair. Having natural hair creates a special community, since we're currently the exception, not the norm. I know that somedays I need some encouragement, so I go out of my way to encourage other naturals too.

Sunshinelovespeace said...

For me it's the feeling that I am not alone when I see another natural sister so it's almost like I am dieing to say something to her! I think it is much easier as a natural to compliment another natural, maybe we all assume that if she's natural then she's taken off that need to something she's not and thus she's more open to smile or chat.

If nothing else when I see another natural we always smile and nod. It's cool. I like the community.

teesha said...

Couldn't agree more! Ever since I went natural I suddenly felt compelled to approach nappy strangers and dote on their hair. And I'm the shyest mouse in the church....

D Alexandra said...

I think naturals are more supportive of each other because know how much hardship and criticism we face from everyone else for being different. When we see someone rocking their do fiercely, we're like 'YES! ONE POINT FOR THE TEAM' you know?

Butterfly73 said...

Yes I have to agree with everyone else. Its a kinship amongst us natural divas. Ive complimented women when I was permed but definitely more since I've been natural.

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